Ok! Maybe I am spending too much time to myself, or it could be that I am too much of an analysis. However in any event I am beginning to appreciate the unadulterated fact that in today’s world principally in relationships, and that is relationships being (work, romantic, platonic, business etc.) People have a difficult time being real to others, or even to themselves for that matter. So therefore I am now left with the question that is suspended in my head, and I’m sure you’re probably wondering the same thing, and that is, what is the reality of being real?
This entire subject is one of frustration for me, frustration meaning; that I am disgusted with the fact that people will deliberately tell you untruths, in a desperate attempt to take advantage of the genuine innocence you display in your desire to believe whatever it is they are telling you. So I guess at times during the reading of this article I can be perceived as being really emotive with some of my wording, but please indulge me for a few minutes so you can get a full understanding of what it is I’m trying to express, and I am almost certain most would agree to the logic I am trying to convey.
As a young boy growing up it was normal as children for your peers to try and impress one another by exaggerating what their parents did for a living, pretending to be someone their not, or even by just lying, claiming to have stuff that they knew they really didn’t have. Now as kids this could be considered normal behavior, because the intent of this “game” so to speak was, to win the favor of the person you were telling this stuff to, so that hopefully you can be friends, or at best you would have made a good impression on them.
Ironically, some people, after I guess, consistent practice at it takes it into adulthood and decide not to view it as a “game” anymore, but as a way of life, or should we say their reality. Interestingly enough this is where it becomes frightening, because at this point it now becomes a question of not their reality anymore, but instead a question of their integrity.
Now before I proceed any further I want to make abundantly clear, that this is not reserve ed to a certain set of people, but to anyone that gives you what I call a false reality or the blatant display of well crafted untruth to ultimately convince you that what they are saying is in fact reality: and they can be preachers, managers, spouses, bosses and even friends. Whoever exhibits this type of behavior in due course falls into this category, and should ask themselves what is the reality of being real?
In my research I have discovered that these people would use their so called “titles or labels” as a persuasive instrument to confuse what you know to be reality. A classic example; you caught your partner with someone else in a compromising position, but yet when you confront them about it, this is their normal response; “as you husband you think I would do something like that to you.” Another example; your boss is a repeatedly telling the staff, how the company believes in family life, and the motto at this company is family first, however if you ask for a day off to attend you child sports day, or some event that your child is participating in during your working hours, that same boss wants to know if you have lost your mind. So here is my point, people would have you believe that because they carry the title of husband, boss, manager, etc. that all of a sudden their title or label made them an intellectual and the person they are trying to sell this stuff to has transforms themselves into a Jackass, and supposedly have no sense of reasoning.
This now takes me into a new arena of reasoning, and that is do these people critically analyze whatever it is that they are saying to you? Or are they that self absorbed that they believe whatever they say you must just lap up and print that in stone as reality?
Well my research has yield that these people see you as one of two scenarios or even both a) they obviously disrespect you as a human being and do not care how you may think or feel regarding the elusive truth that they so eagerly flee when speaking to you or, b) they do not care how you may view their integrity, after all they are the Boss, the spouse, the preacher, whatever, and again these titles are the halos that they hide under to exude some saintly appearance, as to say I would never deceive you.
However the question can be asked, who exactly is to blame? Is it the person that is trying to make you believe something that you know is not a reality, or could it be you, acting as a subliminal co-conspirator to the Inaccuracies of the reality they are attempting to spoon feed you.
Well remember the question I asked as the topic of this article: and that question was what is the reality of being real? Well the reality is you know that these people are being dishonest and untruthful with what they say to you and very little of it has ever truly became a reality, and you know this because there integrity speaks for itself generally. However you must take a stance in a respectful manner and be real with them, by letting them know that you are not a fool and that you did not fall off of the idiot truck. You then need to point out the inaccuracies in their stories, backed up by proof of the inaccuracies you have discovered, and finally letting them know that you would appreciate if they would be more realistic and respectful towards you like you have been towards them.
Finally, I guess we can all agree that after all that have been said, people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Their illusion of a reality does not have to be your reality if you would only be real with them, rather than subliminally working with them to your own demise.
BY: Kevin L.A Ewing