Friday, April 15, 2011

Letting go of the inevitable

   
As painful as it is sometimes, it is never easy when it comes to letting go of someone that has become such an integral part of your life, regardless of the time spent together. Truth be told, for the most part the letting go was never premeditated from either end, but through unexplained circumstances these were the cards that  life dealt you.

Funny thing is you knew that this day would come, and the emotions, disappointments and the feelings of lost, were just that the inevitable. Be it knowingly or unknowingly this person has become so woven into the fabric of your life that this letting go process begins to highlight their true value and some of the wonderful experiences they’ve afforded you.

It isn’t that you didn’t notice their value before but the extent of their value during this letting go process begins to unveil roots that you could not have possibly imagine were there. Those roots became difficult to observe, because as we all do,  through no coercion of others decides to enter this unrealistic world believing that what we have with them will always be forever……..

It is almost similar to death, in that the memory of that person becomes amplified to you, due to the finality of them not existing in your life anymore. Such as their smile, their voice, their touch their laughter and the very thought of the precious times shared with them. It is in these events and moments that have been transformed from an actual experience to archives now tucked away in the memory banks of our minds that repetitiously without warning invade our thoughts, making the letting go process that much difficult.

Sometimes I sit and wonder clandestinely, why it is that life will finally allow you to have something that you’ve waited on for so long. Something so precious, promising and conjuring up so much joy, knowing fully well that there was an expiration date attached to it from its very beginning, one must ask, what is the purpose of this? What was the purpose of the wait, and fantasies when the time of having it is so brief?

Letting go of the inevitable, speaks to such situations and events, it speaks in a loud voice saying, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS FOREVER NO MATTER HOW WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAGNIFICENT OR COMFORTING YOU MAY FIND IT TO BE, THE FACTS ARE IT IS LITERALLY BEING LEASED TO YOU!

In spite of this seemingly grim view, I have simultaneously discovered that the love that was once shared between two people by far out weigh the letting go process. How you may ask? Well, the love factor was the primary ingredient that altered the course of both parties. It was this love that took these individuals from two entirely different paths of life, which may have not been what they wanted it to be, but this same love magically brought them together and provided something so special, unique and unimaginable that even the thought of letting go of the inevitable was at best a distant fantasy.

Just try to imagine for a moment you’re on a beach or a quiet golf course walking with that significant other, expressing your dreams, aspirations, what you think of each other. A wonderful sunset, a gentle breeze with a complementing cloudless sky, to sum it all up the unveiling of a utopia type experience. You smile, you hug, you kiss and just begin to envelope into each others love Then coming to a complete stop in your walk, looking at each other face to face and just absorbing the beauty of this person that you care so much about, knowing the reality that no matter how beautiful this moment is, eventually the letting go process will always be the inevitable via by death or by other means.

I am sure we all wish we had a magic wand to some how zap the unwelcome things out of our lives. Nevertheless reality stands as a guard peeking at his watch making sure no one and I mean absolutely no one goes into overtime as it relates to their assigned times in their being together.

Letting go of the inevitable, also means that you can not have the pleasure of the one that changed the course of your world anymore, it requires you to pretend as if what you created together was fictitious and at best an extended dream. For those that will experience the letting go process by means other than death. Have to painfully watch from a distance while others fulfill and enjoy what they thought would have been forever for them.

In my view I see this as torture, and as an undeserved punishment that has zero justification! Letting go of the inevitable clearly says to us, this is reality in living color and we are apart of a cycle in which we have little say. Why? Because life is just that a cycle that everyone who enters this world automatically becomes apart of this cycle and have no other positive options other than the instructions provided to us by God concerning these delicate matters. King Solomon said that all things happen to all alike. Suggesting no one is exempted, but for some odd reason everyone when falling in love believes that they can challenge this process and that they would successful achieve the forever syndrome.

King Solomon in his proverbs said, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes 1:9 suggesting everything including relationships has its assigned time to exist, from being tangible to becoming intangible. Solomon compounds his point by saying, “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1. Again he’s placing emphasis on time and purpose rather than the fantasy of forever. Job who was stripped of everything that he valued, cherished and adored also knew that one day the reality of losing it all would manifest itself, when he said “For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me” Job 3:25. Clearly, Solomon and Job had an insight or should we say accepted the reality of life and that is nothing is forever and all things are changing even as we are presently intertwined with it.

I believe the agony and torment of letting go intensifies the thought that you now have to return to your former life without that person who became responsible for pulling you away from it all, facing the uncertainty of being alone, when you were well adjusted prior to their entrance into your life. Everyone’s question in this scenario is “What do I do now? Not to mention the thought of, “Should I risk doing this all over again?” Solomon again speaks to this reality when he said, “A wise man sees the evil (The reality of things) beyond where he’s at presently and prepares himself, however the foolish walk into it (his unrealistic world of forever) and is punished Proverbs 22:3,  or issued with the notice that reads, “The inevitable of letting go”

Guess what? After intense pondering, I believe I finally got it, yes! That’s right I got it. No one ever promised us that love was forever or the one we share or shared our love with was forever. This was our making, and understanding we were the ones that told each other “I will love you forever, I will be with you forever, and nothing will ever separate us. Everyday building on a fantasy that both parties knew would crumble eventually.

Truth is letting go of the inevitable was always a reality from the beginning, we just did what we always do and that is create our own realities to sugar coat the inevitable of letting go.


Heavenly father thank you once again for your word and wisdom, also for the clarity that your word has brought to these perplexing areas of our lives. It is my prayer for all readers of this article that they would realize and understand that the only thing that has forever attached to it in this world is the things that we do for you. I also pray that you give us the wisdom to focus more on the time and purpose than the thing or person, so that your divine plan can run its course in our lives. I ask these things in Jesus name. Amen!

Written by: Kevin L A Ewing
kevinewing@coralwave.com