Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The purpose driven relationship


Even though every relationship has its individual purpose for its existence, the success of that relationship is solely based on an ingredient that if not present, paves the way for absolute frustration and ultimate failure. This ingredient is called synergy.

Our teaching today will take us along the part of some biblical principles that if followed precisely, will guarantee us not just success in our relationships with others, but an appreciation and value for that person in spite of their differences. We’ll also discover that it is in the differences of others that if cultivated properly will open to us a deeper admiration as to why we were attracted to that person to begin with and concurrently reveal to us things about ourselves that we were unaware of.

According to our bible, after God was almost completed with his creation, he made mention that it is not good that the man should be alone. Now, prior to this statement God said that everything thus far in his creation was good, meaning it was beneficial or profitable. So when he said that it was not good that the man should be alone it is not to suggest that God had a flaw in his creation. However, the emphasis is that it is not beneficial that the man be alone. This further prompts one’s understanding that nothing in God’s creation was made to operate independent of itself. Nevertheless, all creation including man needs someone or something to join with to produce or increase more than they did individually.

Thus bringing about our first principle in reference to the purpose driven relationship, Synergy is defined as the combined efforts of two or more people or things in an effort to produce or increase more than they would have achieved individually. This being the case, then when applied to a relationship it now places a demand on the relationship through combine efforts to produce or increase more than each party did as individuals.

I think now is a good time to stop right here and begin analyzing mentally your relationships, with a view of identifying if as a couple you’ve increased or decreased. This simple examination can determine whether you’re progressing, which is the original purpose of the relationship or are you digressing, meaning moving about aimlessly with no fixed point or reference accompanied with the warp idea of whatever happens, happens (a retard relationship).

The bible now goes on to say to us that after God had identify that the man can not go beyond a certain level of increase unless he is accompanied by someone, God decided to make a help meet for him, like every other living organism in his creation. A help meet is one that is suitable, proper and fitting whose purpose is to assist in the present and future increase and production of the relationship totally and completely void and depleted of selfishness and self aggrandizement.

This now brings us to our second principle, which really should have been our first. That being divine order ordained by God. What am I saying here? I am saying the head of the relationship must be primarily established. Just in case there is confusion in regard to this statement, the head is the MAN via God’s command. The head is not determined by size, wealth, education or status, but by whom God has determined the head should be from the beginning of creation. As proof of this when Eve ate the forbidden fruit absolutely nothing changed in the Garden of Eden or creation for that matter. It was only when the man (the head of the relationship) ate of the forbidden fruit that everything fell apart. Anything with more than one heads I am told is considered a monster and spells the recipe for disaster. Again I want to make clear these principles are not limited to just romantic relationships but all relationships. Outside of the marital institution and male female relationships, the head is not limited to a male but he or she that is suitable, fitting and has incorporated the mind of a leader. However, if the leader is a female this female ultimate leader should be Jesus Christ.

The opposite of these principles creates the term antagonism. Antagonism is this case would be defined as two or more people or thing in their combined efforts are now producing less than they were doing as individuals….. Wow! This reminds me of the saying, “I can do bad all by myself” The dictionary reveals to us that opposition, resistance, rebellion, aggression, hostility, animosity and enmity give us the sum total of antagonism. Any relationship operating under this order, unfortunately its tenants are delusional as to how a real relationship must function.

However the purpose driven relationship possesses something that no other relationship has outside of it, firstly, respect is a must meaning you do not have the right to change anyone but appreciate their uniqueness and use the synergy of the relationship to compromise with each others differences. Again, it is these differences that if cultivated properly it gives a greater appreciation for the person, and reveals another side of you that show the importance of that person being in your life. This is what synergy does; it manufactures the best in both parties, and does not attempt to create what you want the other party to be according to you. Synergy requires complete and absolute UNITY and had initially established order from the beginning of the relationship. So, as fruits of this relationship, respect literally sets up invisible borders that both parties knows how far to proceed with each other, and if violated apologizes are not only mandatory but immediate.

Scripture now reveals the power of synergy when it said, after the man and the woman became one (Unity) God blessed them. Now, before we proceed lets make clear here what exactly God blessed. He did not bless mess, meaning he blessed a union or institution that had a head, accompanied with a help meet operating on one accord. In fact any relationship where the boss, husband, chief etc becomes subject to the subordinate or made to be inferior, this my friends is a cursed relationship that must produce disaster, pain, grief and perpetual agony and hardship.

After God blessed his understanding of a relationship, five things came about as a result of the blessing. That relationship must now:
  • Be fruitful
  • Multiply
  • Replenish
  • Subdue
  • And finally dominate whatever comes up against it

All of these things as you would have noticed speak to increase, and accomplishing more than they were doing as individuals. This is the power of synergy according to Genesis 1:28.

So my dear readers, I’ve asked you earlier to review your present or past relationship, now, what have you discovered? Did it produce more or less? Did it take away or add to your life? Now before you begin to point fingers as to whom the problem was, just remember a failed relation requires the participation of both parties, in this sense one party wants to assume the head when they’re not or one party is promoting synergy and the other is campaigning for antagonism. In both scenarios failure is the inevitable.

Just before I conclude, I would like for you to indulge me for just a few second more, to show you further the supernatural power of synergy in a purpose driven relationship honored by God. In the building of the tower of Babel according to genesis 11: 1-9 two principles are demonstrated here which will sum up what we’ve discussed so far. A) God said that the rule of synergy dictates that "when folks become one (unity) absolutely nothing will be restrained from them, which they imagine to do" Genesis 11:6. Mighty God! Are you getting this folks? As far as God is concern the mere fact that this couple, group, organization etc. are operating in the law of synergy, if they just imagine whatever it is they decide to do it is a done deal in the sight of God, with no force spiritual or physical being able to restrain them.

The second principle is the principle of division, which dictates that when one or more of the parties involved resist, rebel, oppose etc. the general understanding of the order of the relationship or a misplacing of leadership this conceives confusion and ultimately produces division Genesis 11: 7-8. Thus, giving us the word Babel, which in the Hebrew language means confusion!


Heavenly father, I thank you because you are not the author of confusion. On the contrary you are a God of order. It is my prayer today that you empower my readers and myself to follow your blue print that only produces order. I take authority of any and all bewitching powers that will attempt to bring confusion to us, your people. I also command a spiritual flood similar to the days of Noah that will annihilate any and all spirits that is anti your will for our lives in the matchless and glorious name of your son Jesus Christ. Amen!


Written by: Kevin L.A Ewing
kevinewing@coralwave.com