Please, Help Me I'm Hurting

The most incredible pain a person can experience while going through a difficult period would be the rejection and gaslighting from those they seek help from concerning their situation.

It is beyond my human understanding how insensitive some folks can be concerning the hurt and pains of others, particularly those that they claim to love and care for. Please remember that you must never reduce what that pain or discomfort is doing to that person. In fact, you could possibly be the last human contact they attempted to reach out to before ending their life.

I want to share some of what I think is much-needed wisdom in these trying and hurting times that so many folks are experiencing.

The following are some pointers to consider before what could possibly turn out to be or appear as insensitive behavior:

1) MAKE TIME FOR THOSE YOU KNOW ARE HURTING.

2) LET THOSE THAT ARE HURTING VENT.

3) WHOMEVER OR WHATEVER HAS CAUSED THE HURT TO THE ONE THAT IS HURTING, DO NOT PLAY REFEREE BY POINTING OUT TO THE PERSON WHO IS HURTING WHO IS RIGHT OR WHO IS WRONG (Hellllllo now is not the time for that).

4. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT, AND I MEAN DO NOT, TURN THIS HURTING PERSON'S PAIN INTO AN ARGUMENT.

5) CEMENT INTO YOUR MIND THAT YOU ARE THERE TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR THEM, NOT TO BECOME AN ADDED THORN IN THEIR SIDE.

6) PRACTICE LISTENING MORE AS OPPOSED TO TALKING. SOME HURTING FOLKS JUST WANT TO TALK, THAT'S IT. THEY JUST WANT TO BE HEARD WITHOUT INTERRUPTIONS.

7) ALWAYS REMEMBER, DO YOUR BEST TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND THE PAIN OF OTHERS AS OPPOSED TO ATTEMPTING TO BE ALL INTELLECTUAL, GIVING THE APPEARANCE OF HAVING IT ALTOGETHER. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IS GOOD ADVICE, THEY MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT ADVICE AT THE TIME. TIMING OF ADVICE IS KEY, MY FRIEND.

8) IF YOU MUST SPEAK, PLEASE REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU! INSTEAD, IT IS ALL ABOUT THE ONE WHO'S CURRENTLY LIVING THIS ORDEAL. SO PUT YOUR ANGER, IMPATIENCE, AND PRIDE ON HOLD FOR NOW.

9) DO YOUR BEST TO BE REAL WITH THEM, MEANING DO NOT BEHAVE AS IF YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVER WITH OR GIVE THEM THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.

10) IN ALL HONESTY, SCRIPTURE IS PROBABLY THE LAST THING THEY WANT TO HEAR AGAIN; TIMING IS EVERYTHING IN DELICATE MATTERS SUCH AS THESE.

11) LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR DAY OF HURT AND PAIN IS PENDING LIKE ALL OF US. SO YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARD THE HURTING NOW ARE THE SEEDS THAT WILL COME HOME TO HARVEST WHEN YOUR TURN ARRIVES.

"DO UNTO OTHERS, AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU" Matthew 7:12. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

Written By: Kevin L A Ewing

kevinewing@coralwave.com

kevinlaewing.blogspot.com

HURT!

Hurt! The silent killer

 Emotional hurt, by far is one of life’s most destructive blows to a person. In most cases I am sure all would agree that physical hurt would be preferable over emotional hurt.

Can there be anything more painful to a person than emotional hurt? Better yet have you ever experienced a relationship where you felt or knew that you were just not being heard emotionally? Now the age old argument is, “I am no mind reader, neither am I a psychic, how am I suppose to know what’s going on in your head”

Well, guess what, it is your duty and concern to have an Idea when something is not right with your partner emotionally. (View my article on the law of association)

Now, before you attack me here, let us look at the wisdom of God’s word. Solomon the author of the book of Proverbs gave a very simple, but profound proverb, he said, “Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flock and look well to thy herd. For riches are not forever, and the crown will not endure to every generation.

It would appear as if there is a mix up here, what does hurt have to do with flock, heard, crown or riches?  Well, absolutely nothing but let us insert the points of this proverb into the emotional part of our relationships.

The word diligent means to put care and effort into what you do. The word state is defined as: the condition of someone or something. So here is the revelation: it is both parties responsibility to place care and effort on the emotional condition of each other particularly when there is a noticeable change that signals emotional hurt.

Ignoring such hurts sets the stage for the much to common silent wars between couples. Caught in its infancy can avoid a whole lot of future apologies and forgiveness.

He then goes on to say that riches does not last forever, and the crown will not be passed to every generation……what does this mean?

To continue this revelation Solomon is advising that the emotional condition that you appreciate in him/her right now will not last forever, they will not be the same everyday.  He is also subliminally suggesting that we be very cognizant of any variation of the emotional aspects of our partner.

So in other words, put aside being self absorbed, remove the lime light off ourselves for a moment and begin to silently hear the emotional pains and hurt of our partner. Put aside how we may feel and seriously consider the feelings of our significant other, if only in an effort to meet the emotional needs that has been silently crying out unnoticed by us.

Kevin L A Ewing
kevinewing@coralwave.com