The most incredible pain a person can experience while going through a difficult period would be the rejection and gaslighting from those they seek help from concerning their situation.
It is beyond my human understanding how insensitive some
folks can be concerning the hurt and pains of others, particularly those that
they claim to love and care for. Please remember that you must never reduce
what that pain or discomfort is doing to that person. In fact, you could
possibly be the last human contact they attempted to reach out to before ending their life.
I want to share some of what I think is much-needed wisdom
in these trying and hurting times that so many folks are experiencing.
The following are some pointers to consider before what
could possibly turn out to be or appear as insensitive behavior:
1) MAKE TIME FOR THOSE YOU KNOW ARE HURTING.
2) LET THOSE THAT ARE HURTING VENT.
3) WHOMEVER OR WHATEVER HAS CAUSED THE HURT TO THE ONE THAT
IS HURTING, DO NOT PLAY REFEREE BY POINTING OUT TO THE PERSON WHO IS HURTING
WHO IS RIGHT OR WHO IS WRONG (Hellllllo now is not the time for that).
4. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT, AND I MEAN DO NOT, TURN
THIS HURTING PERSON'S PAIN INTO AN ARGUMENT.
5) CEMENT INTO YOUR MIND THAT YOU ARE THERE TO MAKE THINGS
BETTER FOR THEM, NOT TO BECOME AN ADDED THORN IN THEIR SIDE.
6) PRACTICE LISTENING MORE AS OPPOSED TO TALKING. SOME HURTING FOLKS JUST WANT TO TALK, THAT'S IT. THEY JUST WANT TO BE HEARD WITHOUT
INTERRUPTIONS.
7) ALWAYS REMEMBER, DO YOUR BEST TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND THE
PAIN OF OTHERS AS OPPOSED TO ATTEMPTING TO BE ALL INTELLECTUAL, GIVING THE
APPEARANCE OF HAVING IT ALTOGETHER. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK WHAT YOU WANT
TO SAY IS GOOD ADVICE, THEY MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT ADVICE AT THE TIME.
TIMING OF ADVICE IS KEY, MY FRIEND.
8) IF YOU MUST SPEAK, PLEASE REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!
INSTEAD, IT IS ALL ABOUT THE ONE WHO'S CURRENTLY LIVING THIS ORDEAL. SO PUT YOUR
ANGER, IMPATIENCE, AND PRIDE ON HOLD FOR NOW.
9) DO YOUR BEST TO BE REAL WITH THEM, MEANING DO NOT BEHAVE
AS IF YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVER WITH OR GIVE THEM THE IMPRESSION
THAT YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.
10) IN ALL HONESTY, SCRIPTURE IS PROBABLY THE LAST THING THEY WANT TO HEAR AGAIN; TIMING IS EVERYTHING IN DELICATE MATTERS SUCH AS
THESE.
11) LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR DAY OF
HURT AND PAIN IS PENDING LIKE ALL OF US. SO YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARD THE HURTING
NOW ARE THE SEEDS THAT WILL COME HOME TO HARVEST WHEN YOUR TURN ARRIVES.
"DO UNTO OTHERS, AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO
YOU" Matthew 7:12. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
Written By: Kevin L A Ewing
kevinewing@coralwave.com
kevinlaewing.blogspot.com
