Ok! Maybe I spend too much time alone, or maybe I am just overly analytical. In any case, I am beginning to recognize the simple fact that in today’s world, especially in relationships—whether work, romantic, platonic, or business—people struggle to be genuine with others, or even with themselves. So now, I’m left with a question that's been lingering in my mind, and I bet you’re probably wondering the same: what does it really mean to be real?
This topic deeply frustrates me because I feel disgusted that people deliberately lie to exploit the naive trust you show when you want to believe what they tell you. While reading this article, my words might seem very passionate at times, but I ask for your patience so you can fully understand my perspective. I believe most people will agree with the reasoning I am trying to share.
Growing up as a young boy, it was normal for children to try to impress each other by exaggerating what their parents did for a living, pretending to be someone they weren't, or even lying, claiming to have things they really didn’t possess. As kids, this could be seen as normal behavior because the purpose of this "game," so to speak, was to win the favor of the person you were telling this to, hoping to become friends or, at the very least, leave a good impression.
Ironically, some people, after what seems to be consistent practice, transition from viewing it as a “game” to seeing it as a way of life or their reality. Interestingly, this shift is where it gets frightening, because it involves not just their perception of reality but also their integrity.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that this is not reserved for any specific group of people. It applies to anyone who presents what I call a false reality—deliberate displays of well-crafted untruths designed to convince you that their version of reality is true. This can include preachers, managers, spouses, bosses, and even friends. Anyone who exhibits this behavior falls into this category and should ask themselves: What does it mean to be truly real?
Through my research, I've learned that some people use their so-called “titles or labels” to persuade and sometimes confuse others about what is truly real. For example, think about when you catch your partner with someone else in a compromising situation, and when you confront them, their usual reply is, “As your husband, you think I would do something like that to you.” Or consider a boss who frequently tells staff that the company values family and that “family first,” yet when you ask for a day off to attend your child's sports event during work hours, they act as if you've lost your mind. My point is that people often want you to believe that holding titles like husband, Boss, or manager makes them more credible. But in reality, these titles don't define a person's character or reasoning ability.
This raises a new question: do these individuals critically assess what they tell you, or are they so self-centered that they think their words should be accepted as absolute truth without question?
Well my research has yield that these people see you as one of two scenarios or even both a) they obviously disrespect you as a human being and do not care how you may think or feel regarding the elusive truth that they so eagerly flee when speaking to you or, b) they do not care how you may view their integrity, after all they are the Boss, the spouse, the preacher, whatever, and again these titles are the halos that they hide under to exude some saintly appearance, as to say I would never deceive you.
However, the question can be asked: who exactly is to blame? Is it the person trying to make you believe something you know is not true, or could it be you, acting as a subliminal co-conspirator in the Inaccuracies of the reality they are attempting to spoon-feed you?
Remember the question I asked as the topic of this article: what is the reality of being real? The truth is, you know these people are being dishonest and untruthful with what they tell you, and very little of it has ever truly become reality. You recognize this because their integrity generally speaks for itself. However, you must take a respectful stance and be genuine with them by letting them know you're not a fool and you didn't fall off the idiot truck. Then, you need to point out the inaccuracies in their stories, supported by proof of the falsehoods you've uncovered, and finally, let them know that you'd appreciate it if they were more realistic and respectful toward you, just as you have been toward them.
Finally, I think we can all agree that, after everything said, people will treat you only as much as you permit. Their perceived reality does not have to be your actual reality if you're honest with them instead of subconsciously colluding with them to your own detriment.
BY: Kevin L.A Ewing
