Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I love you but I'm not in love with you

The above topic can be considered some of the most devastating words ever spoken into the hearing of anyone, particularly those who were under the impression that they were involved in a sincere and committed relationship. In fact it can become so devastating, that the recipient of these words can spiral into a deep depression and a state of utter hopelessness as a result of it.

Today we want to unearth some very common but overlooked relationship signs that signal this all too common statement prior to its admission. Simultaneously, we will discover where the recipient of these words for the most part were equally responsible for such an outcome, thus,   making themselves co-conspirators to their own predictable ending.

Denial of anything is defined as the disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing. It can also be defined as the refusal to recognize or acknowledge what is blatantly obvious to everyone else but intentionally ignored and dismissed by others. This is worthy to note at this strategic point in our teaching because we will also discover that denial, inordinate love coupled with non-reciprocal caring, affection and general concern in a relationship provides all the necessary components for an unhappy and predictable ending.

Amazingly, I have discovered that it has become normal for folks to intentionally live in a constant state of denial in their relationships in order to maintain and sustain a so called “peace of mind”. Now, I will admit, this was quite difficult for me to comprehend until I understood two very important things about the folks that do this, and they are A) They are severely lacking in confidence and understanding and B) They have program themselves to believe that they cannot exist or function properly without this person whom they’ve willing subject themselves to under the deception of true love.

Let’s shift our attention for a second and begin to shine the lime light on the one that makes such a statement and the word I want to use in this teaching in labeling this person is the word vain. The word vain is defined as: being excessively proud of or concerned about one's own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc. also a person that lacks the ability to genuinely care or sincerely be concern about the interest or well-being of someone else.

With the above understanding, it now takes us into the mind of such a person and why it is so easy for them to lead others into a make believe world of unpretentious love and without notice do away with them as if they never mattered at all. It is important to note here that these people diligently seek their prey and the type of persons that they are looking for are those that never had the love of a mother or Father, those that are on the rebound from a previous relationship, those that lack confidence, those that are easily dependent on other people, and more importantly those that trust easily and without question subject themselves to the will of others. The truth is, these deceivers will temporarily become what you desire in an effort to get from you what they want and in most cases the tenure of this process is short live and concluding with the victim becoming extremely hurt and outrageously bitter, and the perpetrator walking away with absolutely no remorse or sense of guilt. In fact, in the victim’s quest to figure out from the perpetrator what has happened the perpetrator sees the victim as a bother and sees themselves as a victim…… wow!

Scripture reminds us that those that follow after vain persons shall have more than enough poverty, Proverbs 28:19. Poverty is characterized as, the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor. So it is safe to say that the main sign of such folks is their unique ability to take from us and consistently leaving us in a lacking state particularly emotionally. Scripture further warns us that, “He that follows vain people are void of understanding” Proverbs 12:11. So as you would have read in the above scripture the one that is following this vain person lacks understanding, meaning when they would have decided to ignore or deny the reality of this person it is clear that they also do not understand the pending hurt and pain that this person will issue them in short order.

Therefore because of the callousness of this person it is easy for them to issue the words “I love you but I’m not in love with you” unfortunately, because they were never in love in the first place. The bible tells us that we will know them by their fruits. A fruit is the clear unequivocal sign of what a tree is. If the fruit is an apple then the tree must be an apple tree. In this case if this person’s fruits are insensitivity, selfishness, and sees you as a stepping stone rather than an equal’ then it is abundantly clear that you are dealing with a vain person that you need to have removed from your life expeditiously if you’re interested in having a happy life.

My words of wisdom to you on this day is to, abandon the denial mindset that you have created to accommodate your misleading relationship. If you insist on keeping things they way that they are, then prepare yourself for the all too common words “I love you but I’m not in love with you”. In all honesty these words are reserved until a new victim has been discovered by the perpetrator, which is an additional sign to you that their time with you has come to an abrupt halt.

Heavenly Father, I pray that you expose this vain spirit and bring their diabolical intent to an immediate halt. I also pray that every reader of this article will look for the fruits of these individuals as signs in recognizing this deceptive evil in the matchless name of Jesus Christ.

Written by: Kevin L A Ewing

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