Life Is Not Unfair—It Is Honest

Most people hate the realities life hands them. What is even more interesting is that many chronically complain about the unfairness of life while completely ignoring the fact that they are often the primary
contributors to the very outcomes they consider unfair.

So, what is this reality of life?

To understand the reality of life, we must first unlearn what it is not. Throughout history, people have repeated the familiar phrase, "Life is unfair." While this statement may offer temporary comfort, it often becomes a convenient way to shift accountability and responsibility away from ourselves. It allows us to blame circumstances rather than examine the choices, habits, relationships, and mindsets that continue to produce the same undesirable results.

The truth is that life is not primarily about fairness or unfairness. It is about cause and effect. Life continually reflects back to us the consequences of what we consistently think, tolerate, practice, defend, and repeat. Unfortunately, many refuse to accept this reality. Instead, they continue surrounding themselves with the same people, following the same unproductive advice, making the same decisions, and maintaining the same destructive habits—only to wonder why the results never change.

Life is remarkably honest. It simply returns what we continually invest into it.

What you tolerate today becomes your normal tomorrow. What you repeatedly practice eventually becomes your reality. What you continually defend will often become your destiny. If you desire different results, you must first change the ingredients that are producing your current ones. Results do not change by wishing for them; they change when the factors that create them are changed.

As 2026 approaches, ask yourself an honest question:

Will you continue carrying the same attitudes, the same unhealthy relationships, the same reluctance to change, the same unforgiveness, the same disappointments, and the same destructive patterns that produced the frustrations of 2025?

If so, why should you expect a different outcome?

Perhaps what you have called unfairness is actually truth confronting you. Truth is showing you that the changes you long to see in your circumstances must first begin within you. Lasting transformation has always been born from accountability, personal responsibility, and the courage to change.

Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Whether or not those were his exact words, the principle remains profoundly true.

Life is not inherently unfair.

Life is honest.

It faithfully reflects the seeds we sow, the decisions we make, the company we keep, and the standards we accept. When we change those things, life begins to produce different outcomes.

The question is not whether life has been unfair to you.

The real question is:

What are you willing to change so that your future no longer resembles your past?

Pastor Kevin L. A. Ewing
ewinglakevin@icloud.com
kevinlaewing.blogspot.com
www.kevinlaewing.com

 

How To Biblically Test The Spirits

One of the first realities we must recognize as followers of Jesus Christ is that our priorities and
focus must shift from a physical perspective to a spiritual one. The reason is simple: our assessments and judgments should be governed by spiritual discernment rather than by what is merely presented to our natural eyes. As believers, we are called to look beyond the surface and discern the root of a matter instead of being deceived by its outward appearance. The Apostle Paul emphasized this truth in his letter to the Church at Ephesus: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12)* This verse makes it clear that the Christian's true conflict is not with people but with unseen spiritual forces that oppose God's purposes. Paul describes an organized kingdom of darkness made up of principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual wickedness operating in the unseen realm. Because our battle is spiritual, God has provided spiritual armor, instructing believers to "put on the whole armor of God" so that we may stand against the schemes of the devil. Understanding this truth provides the proper foundation for the Apostle John's instruction in **1 John 4:1**: "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." This raises an important question: How Do We Test the Spirits? According to Scripture, believers must approach every person, teaching, behavior, doctrine, experience, or spiritual manifestation from a biblical perspective rather than from emotion or natural observation. The first step is to examine the fruit that is consistently being produced. Once the fruit has been identified, it must then be compared with the teachings of Scripture to determine whether it agrees with the character and nature of God. For example, consider a person who continually lies. The observable fruit is consistent deception. According to Ephesians 6:12, however, our battle is not against flesh and blood. Therefore, while the individual is responsible for his or her actions, the believer is instructed to recognize that there is also a spiritual dimension behind persistent sinful behavior. Scripture illustrates this reality by referring to a lying spirit in 1 Kings 22:21-23. The objective is not to hate the individual but to discern the spiritual influence operating behind the consistent fruit being produced. This is why biblical knowledge is absolutely essential. A believer cannot properly test the spirits without using the Scriptures as the ultimate standard of truth. Personal opinions, emotions, traditions, popularity, religious experiences, or ecclesiastical titles can never replace the authority of God's Word. Consistency is another essential principle in spiritual discernment. Spirits are consistent because they consistently express their nature. A lying spirit continually produces deception. A jealous spirit continually produces jealousy. A spirit of division continually produces strife. Likewise, the Spirit of God consistently produces righteousness, truth, holiness, conviction, love, peace, and obedience to God's Word. As it relates to human beings, spiritual influences seek expression through the heart and mind. Over time, a person who continually yields to those influences begins to manifest their characteristics consistently. The individual may not even recognize the spiritual source of what is being expressed, yet the fruit eventually reveals the root. Jesus taught this very principle in Matthew 7:16-20: "Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." Jesus was teaching that the true nature or source of anything is ultimately revealed by what it consistently produces. Fruit exposes the root. A tree cannot continually produce fruit that contradicts its nature. The same principle applies to spiritual discernment. A spirit that is from God will agree with the truth of Scripture, exalt Jesus Christ, produce godly character, and bear righteous fruit. Conversely, a spirit that consistently promotes deception, rebellion, immorality, false doctrine, or anything contrary to God's Word cannot be from God, regardless of how convincing, charismatic, intelligent, influential, or supernatural it may appear. The Bible Is the Standard by Which All Things Are Tested Therefore, to "test the spirits" means evaluating every teaching against the clear and unchanging truths of Scripture. Every doctrine preached from a pulpit, every message shared online, every revelation, prophecy, dream, vision, miracle, or supernatural experience must be measured by the written Word of God. The Apostle Paul reinforced this responsibility when he wrote: "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21, KJV) Notice that Paul did not tell believers to accept everything they heard simply because it appeared spiritual or was spoken by a respected individual. Instead, he instructed the Church to test everything and hold on to only what could withstand biblical examination. The Bereans provide one of the greatest biblical examples of this principle. Although the Apostle Paul himself preached to them, they did not blindly accept his teaching simply because of his reputation or apostolic authority. Instead, Luke records: "These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so." (Acts 17:11) Remarkably, the Holy Spirit commended the Bereans not for doubting Paul but for verifying his teaching through the Scriptures. This demonstrates an important biblical principle: no preacher, prophet, Apostle, teacher, pastor, bishop, or spiritual leader is above the authority of God's Word. If the Bereans searched the Scriptures daily to verify the teaching of the Apostle Paul, how much more should believers today examine every teaching they hear? Likewise, all spiritual encounters, whether natural or supernatural, must be examined in light of God's Word. We live in a time when many claim divine authority while introducing teachings, revelations, visions, dreams, prophecies, and miraculous experiences that extend beyond or even contradict Scripture. The Bible commands believers not to accept such claims blindly but to carefully examine them. Satan is capable of deception, and Scripture repeatedly warns that false prophets, false teachers, and false apostles will arise. Therefore, the believer's confidence should never rest upon signs, wonders, personalities, titles, popularity, or emotional experiences. Our confidence must rest upon the unchanging truth of God's written Word. The written Word of God remains the final authority in every matter of faith and practice. It is the believer's measuring rod, the standard by which truth is separated from error, and the only infallible guide for discerning whether a spirit is truly from God. Conclusion To "test the spirits" is to compare every teaching, doctrine, prophecy, vision, dream, miracle, spiritual manifestation, and personal experience with the Scriptures. It is to judge the fruit, discern the root, and allow the Bible, not emotions, personalities, traditions, or supernatural experiences—to render the final verdict. A spiritually mature believer does not believe everything that appears supernatural. Rather, a spiritually mature believer submits everything to the authority of God's Word. The Bereans searched the Scriptures. Paul commanded believers to test all things. John instructed believers to test the spirits. Jesus taught that fruit reveals the root. Together, these passages establish one unmistakable truth: The Bible is God's final authority for discerning truth from error. Pastor Kevin L. A. Ewing ewinglakevin@icloud.com kevinlaewing.blogspot.com www.kevinlaewing.com

When God Is Preparing You for Your Destiny

"Understanding That Life Is Happening for You, Not to You"

-He sent a man before them, even Joseph, whose feet they hurt with fetters. Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him." Psalm 105:17-19. God tests and prepares His servants before fulfilling the destiny He has spoken over their lives.

If someone had asked me twenty years ago, "Do you see yourself becoming a pastor?" I would have confidently answered, "Absolutely not." Yet today, as I look back over the course of my life, I clearly see the invisible hand of God directing every step of my journey. What once appeared to be random disappointments, painful setbacks, unanswered questions, and unexpected detours were, in reality, divine preparations leading me to a place I never imagined I would be. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is this: God often prepares us for a destiny we never planned for ourselves. The Bible tells the remarkable story of Joseph, one of the twelve sons of Jacob (Genesis 37–50). As a young man, Joseph received dreams from God that revealed he would one day become a great leader. However, while those dreams showed him *where* he was going, they never revealed *how* he would get there. Joseph's dreams never mentioned betrayal. They never mentioned slavery. They never mentioned false accusations. They never mentioned prison. Nor did they reveal the loneliness, humiliation, confusion, and years of waiting that would precede his promotion. This is often how God works. Sometimes God gives us a glimpse of our future—not to explain every detail—but to give us enough hope to endure the difficult seasons that lie ahead. Those moments of encouragement become the fuel that keeps us moving forward when life becomes exhausting, confusing, frustrating, and even embarrassing. Looking back, we eventually realize that every stage of the journey was preparing us for what we would become. Joseph's preparation began with his brothers' jealousy. Because their father favored Joseph, his brothers hated him. Their hatred became so intense that they plotted to kill him before eventually selling him into slavery in Egypt (Genesis 37:18–28). What appeared to be the end of Joseph's life was actually the beginning of God's plan. Joseph was purchased by Potiphar, an Egyptian officer, and became the overseer of his household (Genesis 39:1–6). His integrity, diligence, and excellent spirit caused him to prosper so greatly that the Bible says Potiphar entrusted everything he owned into Joseph's hands. In fact, Scripture tells us that Potiphar "knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat" (Genesis 39:6). Joseph's faithfulness during obscurity prepared him for leadership. Then came another unexpected trial. Potiphar's wife falsely accused Joseph after he refused her immoral advances. Although Joseph had done what was right before God, he was imprisoned for a crime he never committed (Genesis 39:7–20). Yet even prison became another classroom in God's preparation. The keeper of the prison recognized Joseph's character and entrusted him with the responsibility of overseeing the other prisoners (Genesis 39:21–23). Once again, adversity became an opportunity for God to develop leadership, wisdom, patience, and faithfulness within him. While imprisoned, Joseph interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh's chief butler and baker (Genesis 40). At the time, those interpretations seemed to benefit someone else more than Joseph himself. Years later, however, that very gift would open the door to Pharaoh's palace. When Pharaoh dreamed troubling dreams that none of Egypt's wise men could interpret, Joseph was remembered, summoned from prison, and stood before the most powerful ruler in the nation (Genesis 41). By faithfully using the gift God had given him, Joseph was elevated from a prison cell to become governor over all Egypt. His gift made room for him. Looking back over my own life, I see many similarities. I never intended to become a pastor. I never imagined that my life's journey would lead me into ministry. Yet in hindsight, I can now see that every person God allowed into my life, every disappointment, every betrayal, every confusing season, every humiliation, and every victory was being orchestrated by Him. Nothing was wasted. Nothing was accidental. Everything served a divine purpose. Like Joseph, one of the gifts God entrusted to me was the ability to understand and interpret dreams according to the Scriptures. Ironically, it was this gift—along with the detailed biblical teachings the Lord placed in my heart—that ultimately brought my ministry into public view. My journey was often confusing and incredibly difficult. There were seasons when nothing made sense. There were moments when I questioned why certain events had to happen. But today I would not change any part of the journey, because I now understand that God was supervising every chapter of my life to align me with His divine purpose. This realization gave birth to a statement that has become one of my life's convictions: "The will of God supersedes any personal plans I may have for my life." I believe this is true for every child of God. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Romans 8:28 further assures us: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Notice that Scripture says all things. Not merely the pleasant experiences. Not merely the victories. But even the disappointments, betrayals, delays, losses, and painful seasons. God has an extraordinary ability to weave every experience together to accomplish His divine purpose. There is another principle that encouraged me greatly throughout my journey: "A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16) God often develops our character through life's circumstances before He reveals our gifts to the world. The trials prepare us. The gifts position us. The character sustains us. If you currently find yourself in a season of confusion, disappointment, or frustration, I want to encourage you. Do not judge your future by your present circumstances. Do not assume that delay means denial. Do not mistake God's preparation for God's absence. He is working behind the scenes even when you cannot see Him. Remember Joseph. Remember David tending sheep before becoming king. Remember Moses spending forty years in the wilderness before leading Israel. Remember Paul spending years in preparation before his missionary ministry. God specializes in preparing people before promoting them. So, instead of continually asking, "Why is this happening to me?" perhaps begin asking, "Lord, what are You preparing me for?" You may discover that life is not happening to you. It is happening for you. A Prayer Heavenly Father, forgive me for complaining about my life circumstances. Help me to trust that You have a divine purpose for my life and that nothing You allow is without meaning. Open my eyes to recognize the gifts You have placed within me, and give me the wisdom, patience, and faithfulness to develop them. Continue molding my character so that I may be prepared for the destiny You have ordained for me. Let my gifts make room for me and bring me before those You have appointed to bless through my life. Above all, let Your perfect will be accomplished in me. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Pastor Kevin L. A. Ewing ewinglakevin@icloud.com kevinlaewing.blogspot.com www.kevinlaewing.com

Dream Symbols That Reveal Destiny

 

Understanding the Biblical Significance of Roads, Paths, and Journeys in Dreams

Throughout Scripture, God occasionally communicated through dreams to reveal His plans, provide
warnings, offer guidance, or disclose future events (Genesis 37; Daniel 2; Matthew 2:12-13; Acts 2:17). While not every dream originates from God, there are times when dreams can provide spiritual insight into areas that deserve our prayerful attention.

One of the most common symbols people report dreaming about is a road, path, street, or highway.

 

Have you recently dreamed of traveling on a particular road?

Was the road smooth or rough?

Was it straight, winding, hilly, mountainous, or filled with obstacles?

Did it end abruptly in a dead end?

Was it bright and easy to see, or dark and confusing?

These details may be significant.

Roads Often Represent Life's Journey

Throughout the Bible, the words road, way, and path frequently symbolize the direction of a person's life and spiritual journey.

The condition of the road in a dream may reflect your present circumstances, the direction your life is taking, or areas that require prayer and discernment.

For example:

• A rough or difficult road may reflect a season of hardship, testing, or opposition.

• A road filled with obstacles or barriers may symbolize difficulties preventing progress toward your goals.

• A dead-end road may suggest that your present direction requires reconsideration.

• A bright, well-lit road may indicate clarity, understanding, and divine direction.

• A dark road may symbolize uncertainty, hidden dangers, or areas where additional wisdom is needed.

Such dreams should encourage us to seek God for understanding rather than producing fear.

Dreams Reveal What Requires Prayer

One principle I have observed throughout Scripture is that God often reveals spiritual matters before they become visible in the natural world.

For this reason, when a dream highlights a recurring problem, obstacle, or warning, it should motivate us to pray rather than panic.

Likewise, when God reveals encouragement, direction, or promise in a dream, we should respond by praying in agreement with His will.

As believers, our confidence should always rest in God rather than in dreams themselves.

The Word of God Is Our Greatest Guide

While dreams may sometimes provide insight, the Word of God remains our primary source of truth and direction.

David declared:

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
(Psalm 119:105)

Without God's Word, we walk in spiritual darkness. His Word illuminates our path, exposes deception, and guides us toward His purpose for our lives.

Every dream must ultimately be tested against the Scriptures.

Common Dream Symbols

Hills and Mountains

Dreams involving steep hills or mountains may symbolize significant challenges, perseverance, or difficult seasons that require faith and endurance.

Bright or Dark Roads

A bright road may suggest clarity, revelation, and confidence in God's direction.

A dark road may indicate uncertainty, lack of understanding, or the need to seek God's wisdom before making important decisions.

Walking with Someone

Walking beside someone while remaining separated may symbolize disagreement, differing directions, or a relationship lacking unity.

Walking together in harmony may represent agreement, partnership, shared purpose, and unity.

As Amos 3:3 asks:

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Vehicles and Collisions

Dreams involving vehicles often symbolize movement, direction, responsibility, or life's journey.

A collision may represent conflict, unexpected confrontation, or an interruption to one's plans.

If another vehicle strikes yours from behind, it may suggest that something from your past or something taking place without your knowledge deserves prayerful attention.

Animals Chasing You

Some people dream of being pursued by aggressive animals such as dogs or cats.

Depending upon the context of the dream, this may represent fear, conflict, opposition, or spiritual attack. Because dream symbolism varies according to the dream's overall message, it is wise to seek God's wisdom rather than assuming every symbol carries the same meaning.

How Should We Respond to Dreams?

Whenever you experience a troubling dream, your first response should always be prayer.

Ask God for wisdom.

Ask Him whether the dream requires action or simply intercession.

James 1:5 reminds us:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

If you believe God has given you encouragement or direction through a dream, pray that His perfect will would be fulfilled in your life.

If the dream appears to be a warning, pray against every plan of the enemy and commit your life to God's protection and guidance.

Remember, God has not given us dreams to produce fear but to draw us closer to Him.

Scriptures for Prayer and Meditation

Psalm 27:11

"Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies."

Psalm 16:11

"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."

Proverbs 1:15

"My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path."

Proverbs 4:14

"Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men."

Proverbs 4:18

"But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day."

Jeremiah 6:16

"Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein..."

A Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for being my Shepherd and Guide. Lead me in the path You have ordained for my life. Let Your Word continually be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Give me wisdom to discern every dream according to Your truth. If You reveal areas requiring prayer, give me the grace to respond in faith and obedience. Protect me from deception, direct my steps, remove every obstacle that opposes Your perfect will, and establish me in the destiny You have prepared for me. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

May these teachings encourage you to seek God with greater confidence, study His Word diligently, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you into all truth.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers.

Kevin L. A. Ewing

ewinglakevin@icloud.com

kevinlaewing.blogspot.com

www.kevinlaewing.com

Dreams Revealing The Spirit Of Poverty

Dreams Revealing The Spirit Of Poverty Throughout my interactions with numerous individuals, a recurring concern that arises is their inability to comprehend why their diligently acquired possessions tend to elude them. Often, these individuals approach me with a plea to offer up prayers on their behalf, requesting that they be bestowed with financial abundance and liberty. Before I go into today's teaching, I want you to know that experiencing financial losses does not necessarily mean you need a miraculous economic intervention. Instead, the root of your problem may lie that you are under attack from the spirit of poverty. This spirit is responsible for sabotaging your spiritual blessings, preventing them from manifesting as physical blessings. It is not that God has not blessed you; instead, you may be unaware of the presence of this spirit that is consuming your spiritual blessings and hindering your physical blessings. According to scripture, God has already blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3). Everything is already in place to succeed in all areas of our lives, including our finances. Satan and his demons are spirits who understand spiritual laws and know that the spirit realm is the origin of all things. Therefore, if they can disrupt or misplace your spiritual blessings, it will result in physical losses. Specific dreams indicate you are under attack from the spirit of poverty. These dreams reveal how the enemy is stealing from you spiritually, leading to real-life financial losses. If you often dream of walking barefoot or wearing worn-out clothing or shoes, it could signify a spiritual attack from the spirit of poverty. Additionally, dreams, where you or others are constantly begging or seeking financial assistance could indicate that poverty has infiltrated all areas of your life. I'd like you to please take note of these dreams, as they may reveal more profound issues. Dreams, where you are shopping or spending money lavishly, indicate that this spirit influences you to spend your money foolishly and wastefully. The consequences of such dreams can be seen when a person struggles to account for their spending and has nothing to show for their transactions. Some dreams may appear promising on the surface but, when analyzed spiritually, reveal that the enemy is robbing you of your financial blessings and causing economic losses. For example, dreams of owning luxury items like private jets, luxury cars, or mansions, especially when financially struggling. It may seem like a sign of impending wealth. However, these dreams indicate that the enemy is influencing you to spend beyond your means, leading to financial difficulties and obligations that prevent you from enjoying any increase in your future finances. Dreams of selling your possessions or finding strangers in your home. In that case, it may be an impending financial ruin, such as foreclosure or the loss of valuable assets that would be difficult to recover from financially where you cannot access a bank or when the bank is closed, symbolizing financial blockages and restrictions. The manifestation of such dreams would be when people owe you money but cannot pay, or you cannot collect on a financial settlement or judgment. If you dream of losing money from your wallet, purse, or bag, or if you hide money in a dream and it goes missing when you try to retrieve it, it indicates that the spirit of poverty is involved in projects that will not yield any returns. Missing money in dreams signifies that this spirit is stealing your spiritual and financial blessings, preventing them from manifesting in your life. Dreams, where your finances are withheld or delayed, signify a delay in your real-life finances. For example, suppose you dream of being at an ATM machine and it malfunctions, or the power goes out when you try to withdraw money. In that case, it indicates that the spirit of poverty is delaying or hindering your spiritual finances, which will result in financial losses if not addressed. Dreams of rats, cockroaches, and missing properties also indicate the presence of the spirit of poverty in your life. Dreams where money is stolen, or you find yourself picking up cash, coins, silver, or gold suggest the influence of a pauper spirit supervised by a ruling spirit of poverty. If someone gives you money in a dream, be cautious and discerning. While some dreams of receiving money may indicate a genuine financial increase, others can be deceptive. If the person giving you money is someone you do not know or is an enemy in reality, it is an evil dream, and the money represents cursed finances. Similarly, if the money is old, dirty, torn, or a mixture of foreign currency, it signifies confusion and disorder in your finances. These dreams require immediate spiritual resistance and cancellation upon waking. Suppose you experience repetitive dreams related to these financial losses. In that case, it is essential to engage in fasting, as led by the Holy Spirit, and pray with relevant scriptures to break the curse of poverty over your life. Scriptures such as Philippians 4:19, Psalm 115:14, and Deuteronomy 28:12 can be used to declare God's provision and blessings in your finances. Based on spiritual laws, the spirit of poverty can only access your life through a covenant. Unfortunately, most folks are of these evil agreements. Therefore, renouncing and revoking any evil demonic covenants in your life, whether generational curses or established through dreams, is crucial. Ask God to reinstate His original plan for your life, particularly in your finances, in the name of Jesus Christ. It is crucial to keep in mind that the meaning of dream symbols can be influenced by factors such as one's cultural background, profession, lifestyle, and religion. Therefore, relying solely on the Holy Spirit's guidance and direction is essential when interpreting them. Written By: Kevin L A Ewing ewinglakevin@icloud.com kevinlaewing.blogspot.com www.kevinlaewing.com

The Thermostat of The Ungrateful

Ungrateful individuals can often be remarkable yet difficult to understand. If you've interacted with such individuals, you've likely noticed that they have an insatiable desire for more, without showing appreciation for what they already have or what others have done for them, while also feeling entitled to others' resources and services. I have titled this lesson "The Thermostat of the Ungrateful." I chose this title because there is a clear connection between a thermostat and the mentality of an ungrateful individual. A thermostat is a regulating device that regulates the air temperature in any air-controlled environment. If the thermostat is broken, the air conditioning system loses its ability to control the air in that environment. Before I proceed, I would like to clarify that there is a significant distinction between being ungrateful and simply not expressing gratitude. People have different ways of communicating their appreciation, which may differ from how we would express gratitude. Of course, this is acceptable because we are all different. However, an ungrateful person takes things for granted and possesses an almost demonic sense of entitlement. They are intoxicated with selfishness, negativity, chronic complainers, and they're always critical of others. Let's revisit the comparison between a thermostat and an unappreciative person's mindset. As previously mentioned, the thermostat manages the air in an air-controlled environment. However, the thermostat for the ungrateful individual would be their "shame." You're wondering how shame is supposed to act as a thermostat for the ungrateful individual. Let's define the word shame, and it will eventually make sense. Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. If an ungrateful person's shame mechanism is not functioning correctly, they may lose the ability to regulate their behavior in certain areas of their life. This can lead to them repeatedly asking for favors without considering your feelings, always borrowing and begging from you. In addition, they may become defensive if you confront them about their insensitive behavior towards you. Nevertheless, the most challenging area for anyone encountering such a person is their annoying, arrogant sense of entitlement. As a counselor, I either meet such people or counsel those who have encountered them. Amazingly, I have discovered two predominant qualities in most ungrateful people that have become pillars in their foundation. The first quality is jealousy. Yes, this may seem odd, but indulge me for a moment. Ungrateful individuals tend to unconsciously direct their negative behavior toward those they envy. This is their way of punishing those individuals for their success. Therefore, whenever they require resources or assistance, they seek help from those they envy. However, if you refuse their request, they will politely accept it but may speak ill of you behind your back to mutual friends, portraying you as an unkind, selfish, and mean person. This leads to my second observation of ungrateful people. Ungrateful people often possess the trait of being skilled dissemblers. A dissembler is someone who hides their true thoughts or emotions. In simpler terms, a dissembler is a deceitful person. They will go to any lengths to achieve their goals, despite their broken thermostat (which is a shame). Their tool of choice would be flattery and playing the victim to manipulate you. They always paint a negative picture of their circumstances and claim the world is against them, conveniently leaving out any mention of those who helped them. Then, they will praise you, saying how generous and helpful you are, while hiding their true feelings (jealousy) to get something from you. I think such people are covertly disrespectful, with a mild hint of bullying their victims. In other words, due to their entitlement complex, they will subtly put you in an uncomfortable position through another one of their requested favors, which would almost be impossible for you to say no to. Despite inconveniencing you, they will shower you with compliments, such as "I really appreciate" and "I don't know what I would do without you," to persuade you to grant them the favor. I came across a scripture that references the dissembler quality of an ungrateful person, and here is what it said. "A person who hates dissembles with their lips and stores deceit within themselves. When he speaks fair, believe him not, for his heart has seven abominations. Whose hatred is covered by deceit, nevertheless, his wickedness shall be exposed before the entire congregation" Proverbs 26:24-26 Here are thirteen signs of an ungrateful person: 1. They are never satisfied with what you've done for them. 2. They take advantage of your kindness. 3. Always negative, critical, and finding fault with others. 4. They are pretty calculating and deceptive. 5. They take you for granted. 6. They unashamedly express a sense of entitlement. 7. They consistently blame others for their problems. 8. They are challenging to work with and can be uncooperative. 9. They are excellent at flattering you when they need favors. 10. They have a victim mentality. 11. They do not care about your feelings. 12. They are master manipulators. 13. They disrespectfully violate your boundaries. HOW TO MANAGE UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE Addressing the issue is usually recommended when someone's behavior is problematic. However, it's not uncommon for ungrateful individuals to twist the situation and portray you as the unappreciative one, despite all that you've done for them. But if that approach doesn't work, setting boundaries and saying no when necessary is essential. These individuals can be persistent and shameless in their requests, so please be firm with your decision. If boundaries and saying no still don't work, the best course of action may be to ignore them entirely. Being bold and firm in your efforts towards these people is essential. If all attempts to resolve this issue have been unsuccessful, it may be in your best interest to permanently distance yourself from these individuals. Evidently, they are not true friends and are only interested in using you. Kevin L A Ewing ewinglakevin@icloud.com kevinlaewing.blogspot.com www.kevinlaewing.com

Experience Is The Best Teacher

Most things can be misleading due to their packaging. Beautiful packaging can hide terrible content, and unpleasant packaging can contain something beautiful.

Many of us can agree that what we see on the outside, such as packaging, can sometimes be different from what's inside. Our mistakes in life often stem from accepting things at face value and foolishly believing that appearances accurately represent what's inside. Unfortunately, we live in a world where honesty has been replaced with dishonesty. Experience has taught us the valuable lesson of looking before we leap.

I want to tell someone this morning, "Please remember, not everything that glitters is gold." It's important to carefully examine anything that seems like a fresh start, a great deal, a new relationship, a job offer, or anything else. Your responsibility is to do thorough research, ask questions, and focus on substance rather than appearance. In the end, it's the substance that you'll have to deal with, not the temporary attractive packaging. Jesus Christ gave us a great principle that, if followed, will allow us to recognize content over packaging. Jesus said, "You will know them by their fruit" (Matthew 7:16).

The fruit of anything is a telltale sign of not only the contents but also defines whatever it is producing that particular fruit. For example, an apple can only be made by an apple tree. In other words, the fruit is just the evidence of what tree produced it.

I don't know who you are, but you must grasp this understanding. Your decision to follow the packaging will force you to deal with unnecessary content. Unfortunately, most folks tolerate the undesired contents with the hope that they'll be exposed to the packaging again........... My mother repeatedly told me, "A little can tell you what a lot will be like." My words of wisdom to you on this beautiful morning. Focus on the fruit produced by that person, place, or thing. As a reminder, a fruit is the result of a seed. Hence, what they're consistently producing reveals who they really are. And at the same time, warning you that their packaging is a mere distraction from their contents. ~Kevin L A Ewing~